That's Fontogold, not Can'togold!!!

U-no, one of my chums was asking for this one down the old folks home, when I idly mentioned the fact that there was a jolly good young soul singer who could also do tunes which sounded like The Pixies!!!!!!!!! Tho, having said that, you can hear her voice during the chorus!!!! If it was that Black Francis chappy, it would be "WAAHAHAHAHARGL I'M GOING TO F$£% MY SISTER!!!!!!!!! WARARGGAGGLLLGL!!!!!!! I'M GONNA BREAK YOU IN THE FACE!!!!!!! WHAARARARALRLLGLL!!! etc"!!!!!!!

Ahem, anyway!!!! That woman mentioned previously is Santogold!!!!! And you may recognise her as the woman who vomits glitter from the cover of her own gramophone!!!!!! Her bloggy thingy helpfully reminds us:

• My name is Santi like "Monty", not Santy like "Panty", and please stop calling me "Santa", that's like my childhood nightmare.
• And its "Sant-o-gold" like "Font-o-gold" not Santagold, like "Can'tagold"

Which is a shame, as I was about to invite her to my special "Themed Christmas Party: Minerals!!!" in which you have to go as a mineral- like coal, slate, wool, etc- and she could have gone as "Santa Gold"!!!! And she wouldn't even have to change her name!!!! That much. Because, you see, her name is... Oh, just listen to the tune, will you!!!!!!!!!

Tune: Santogold - Lights Out
Download "fontogold!.mp3", my good man!

Teach me Tiger- or I'll teach you!!!!!!!!!!

Believe it or not, this next gramophone caused a major rumpus in the nether regions of America's middle!!!!!!! Yes, it's "Teach Me Tiger" by April Stevens- best known as the "rock 'n' roll gramophone from the olden days where the woman goes wibbly-wobbly 'wawawawawawa'- with her voice!!!!!!" Anyway, apparently way back in Nineteen Canteen when this was released, this is what passed for getting "jiggy wit" it!!!!! And peeps were el-shocko!!!! And I'm not surprised!!!!! After all, when's the last time you've heard a song about having rumpy-pumpy with a large feline!?!??!!

Wot you might not know is that she is responsible for heavy metal!!!!! This is all thanks to her and her bro recoding a versh of an old song called "Deep Purple", which became the top hit platter in the 1963 hit parade, the week before Kennedy got his brains blown out!!!!!!! And not only that- Ritchie Blackmore's granny kept asking him if his beat combo were going to be play "Deep Purple" for her!!!! And so he called his beat combo "Deep Purple"!!!!! And so, if it wasn't for April Stevens and Keith Moon, hard rock would have been invented by two bands called "Roundabout" and "The New Yardbirds"!!!!!!!!!!

Give this woman a medal a I say!!!!! (I would also give Keith Moon a medal, but that would be silly!!!!! Because he's dead!!!!!!)

Tune: April Stevens - Teach Me Tiger
Download "OHWOWOWOWWOAA.MP3" my good man!

I am liquiding myself- into my memories!!!!

U-no, that I-rate radio is a load of utter bilge!!!!! It's a great idea- you download a client, and it starts randomly downloading bazillions of gramophonic binaries from Tha Free Regions Of The Holy Intertubes, and randomly subjects you to them for your rating pleasure, then when you've rated enough, it tries to guess what you really like!!!! Which I admit is going to be difficult for el moi, as you will discover from the chunes what I will upload to this very blog!!!!

But, ouch!!! My ears!!!! That must be all you peeps shouting "That doesn't sound like utter bilge to us, you silly old man!!!" Well, you're right- and wrong at the same time!!!! It's the music that's utter Mary J Bilge!!!! You boot the app up- (By which I mean start the program, not kick it with your Doc Martens, which would be really silly!!! I mean what's wrong with brogues?!?! But anyway) - and you get some dance tune by a 12 year old, followed by a Serbian dude on some classical guitar solo oddessy!!! Then a crap emo song recorded in a garage with vocals flatter than the vocalist ought to be!!!! Then a bleepy little tune recorded off someone's Sinclair Spectrum!!!! Then some old American dad with a voice like a sheep, bleating some bunkum and tommyrot about THE LORD over music that makes yer average Simon Cowell act sound like Einstürzende Neubauten!!!!!!! Then a twelve minute Jazz tune- in French!!!!!!

So one can imagine I almost had a heart attack when I found something that I not only liked, but thought was bloody brilliant!!!! The colourful coves responsible for this amazing acheivement are called musicforcap
and if you can imagine the Breeders ever wanting to do dance music, then you might have an idea already of how brilliant this tune is!!!!!

Download- using your browsey-wowsey!!!!! And then listen- using your ears!!!!!

Tune: musicforcap - Devil Bless you
Download "woahaarg!.mp3", my good man!

Farting more pops!!!!

Hello dear readers!!!!! Well, wasn't the first attempt at this blog a load of boring shit!??!?!?! I know it was!!!!!! But that as ABC said, that was then, and this is now!!!! And now, thanks to the technology of the megamighty inphopipe of the super-dupey w3sphere, you can appreciate the amazing gramophones wot have been assulting my earhole of late!!! So on with the amazing cavalcade of bloggy soundmess!!!!